Future Ventures

As a joke the other day I said I was going to start a business that catered to the elderly generation that cannot handle the technology of cell phones and computers, compact discs, and if they are really old, cassette tapes, and 8 tracks. All in all it’s not really a bad idea. There is a market for it--old people do in fact suck at technology, so why not charge them for my knowledge?

It makes me think that this would be easy to pull off because of my grandmother. She knows how to run “the email” just fine. I have been receiving her forwarded joke emails for the past 10 years. I don't care how many she has sent me, I have never read a funny one. She has had the same cell phone for the past 6 years, so she knew how to make call, but never text or pretty much anything else that a cell phone has to offer. I sent her a new phone the other day because we added her to our family plan. She might as well have never even seen a cell phone before. I had to explain to her every little step on how to activate the phone, and even how to make a fucking call. “Green button, Send, red button, End, OK means okay/enter, and the arrows help you navigate the phone” said I. “So…how do you make a call again?” said she. I have patience with her though, because I understand her issues and she gets frustrated if something doesn't go smooth the first time around.

Also, I started thinking about where I would advertise for such a service. My initial ideas were: billboards, phonebooks, retirement home cork boards, and hospital fliers. Then I thought a little more about it and came up with talk radio, commercial times during the Price is Right, Let’s Make A Deal, Regis and Kelly, and the 4 am news. My friends got in on the action and suggested the newspaper, telemarketing (but not make calls between 3-4pm because that’s dinner time, also not after 7 30 because that’s sleep time,) and passing out fliers at the local mall before it opens because apparently that’s where exercise happens if you are above the age of 55.

Apart from it being a decent idea, I guess all it needs is a business plan, and a good location, such as Florida. Well anywhere really, there are elderly everywhere.

I come up with ideas all the time. Always thinking about funny things, rude things, whatever floats my boats, really. I need a personal web designer that can build my shit up in two hours, rather than me sitting in front of my laptop Googling how to do it.